Tips for Women – When He Won’t Talk To You

May 31, 2011
Author: KLTBrown

Found this great mini article from Bob Grant and wanted to share it with our viewers. Great nuggets of wisdom are shared here. Hope you women pick them up. Here it is. Enjoy!

Why is it that men get quiet when they are upset? For many women the silence of a man can cause more doubt and fear than a raised voice. It’s the wondering that makes it so hard when your mind starts asking these questions – “Is he mad at me,” “Is he going to leave me?”

I use to think that women were just too sensitive about a man being silent. I understood what it meant when my buddy got quiet and I assumed that the reasons were just as obvious to women as well. Fortunately for me (and my marriage) I realize that most women really don’t know what he’s really thinking when he stops talking. Here are some tips for the women in case you run into this awkward situation.

Let me give you the 2 main reasons why men get quiet and emotionally pull away.

1) He doesn’t know what’s wrong – Strange as it may seem often times men simply don’t know what’s bothering them. This happens when they are under a lot of stress. It isn’t one particular thing that feels overwhelming, but the combination of everything.

Their boss is fussing at them, their bank account has less money this month than they had hoped and you (the wonderful woman in their life) have been reminding him that he’s not paying enough attention to you.

Now there could be a dozen different reasons for any man to feel overwhelmed, I just picked those three. If this is the reason he’s quiet it means he feels that he needs to concentrate on making things better and he doesn’t know how. Talking about it may make him feel better but in most men’s mind he won’t feel better until he sees his circumstances change.

2) He’s mad at you and he’s punishing you – When you ignore someone you get the best of both worlds. You get to be angry and the other person does all the work but asking, “What’s wrong?” You don’t have to be vulnerable.

You’re free to sit in self pity while the other person feels the pain of being ignored. Most men know that ignoring a woman is easier than talking to her when you’re upset. It’s childish and mean, but a lot of men do this at times – including me.

What should you do?

When you notice him being quiet simply ask him if anything is wrong. If he says, “nothing” then ask him once more. If he still remains quiet then do this. Fix him his favorite drink and tell him, “I’ll be in the next room if you need me.” (Or if you’re dating you’d say, “I’m going to go home now.”)

Here’s what that does. If he’s really upset about something and not mad at you he’ll be thankful that you have left him alone so that he can focus on is problem. He’ll also be glad that you’ve told him where you’ll be so that he can find you should he want to talk.

If he’s angry at you he’ll be upset because his desire is to punish you. You will be training him that you will ask him what’s wrong but you won’t beg him to tell you. You are modeling for him that if he’s upset with you he can talk about it, but you are not going to be around him while he’s sulking.

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