Spring Cleaning for Your Relationship
Maintaining a strong and healthy relationship isn’t easy for most couples. After a certain amount of time it can be difficult to remember that your sweetheart needs to be treated with all of the same respect and courtesy simply because you have become used to their presence.
Though the tasks that fill each day often leave little time to place any real emphasis on the status of individual relationships it may be helpful to take the time, every once in a while, to air out any reoccurring issues or even just to give praise where praise is due. Remember that even the most romantic and deeply in love couples may still need a little love help from time to time. Addressing any relationship problems that may be occurring in your relationship before they become too deeply rooted to solve can help keep you and your partner happy for the rest of your lives.
Phase One: Snatching Time
Obviously in order to give your relationship the full attention it deserves you may not to place a few things on hold for a day or two. Trying to work around your occupation or any other actions which may intrude upon your concentration should be set aside as much as possible.
Be sure that during the time you plan to devote to attending to the needs of your relationship, whether that length is an hour or a week, which you will not be interrupted. The reason for this strict breaking away from everything else in your life is that one simple distraction can completely ruin a train of thought. Once you and your partner reach a point of open communication it could be very harmful to your progress to endure constant interruptions.
If you find that your life is simply too busy to take a large portion of time away it can still be productive just to set aside a couple of hours. Remember that the main idea in attending to your relationship is that you care enough to make sure that everything is healthy and strong between you and the person you love.
Phase Two: Checking In
Once you and your partner have found a way to seclude yourselves from the world and are both comfortable you may find that the conversation drags a little without the influences that your daily life can bring. Beginning by asking your partner about how they feel in general, on a daily basis can be a great way to get things started. Urge your sweetheart to discuss their feelings, for good or bad, so that you can get a good idea of how they are feeling.
Remember that checking in on your relationship does not mean that you will necessarily find giant, horrible problems that have been building up under the surface. It may be that after having an open discussion with your partner that you find the complaints are minimal and for the most part your relationship is tip-top. If this is the case you can use the time to reconnect, go out and have some fun together as perhaps you have been unable to do for a while. Always keep in mind that where your heart is concerned it’s better to be safe than sorry.
Phase Three: Identify and Plan
During the course of your conversation your may discover some issues that either you or your partner have had for some time, but have been unattended because you have both been too busy to truly take a look at the problem.
When these issues come up in the conversation it is important that you each maintain a healthy and relaxed attitude about what is being said. If either you or your partner should become hostile or defensive you may want to take a break until a calmer state of mind can be reached. The point of such a discussion is not to place blame, but to strengthen your bonds and anger will not help you reach this goal.
After discussing and agreeing upon problems which can be worked on by either one or both of you it is important to map out a plan for how these changes will be made and how you will keep track of the progress, depending upon the severity of the issue. Understanding that making such changes will benefit you and your partner by strengthening your relationship is important, rather than taking on each issue as a personal failure.
Phase Four: Agree, Relax and Reacquaint
Though it may take some time and compromise to reach an agreement, you and your partner are both capable of solving just about any problem that you share. Once the problems and solutions have been discussed and agreed upon it is important not to neglect a sort of cool down for your efforts.
If after experiencing such an intense situation you and your partner should simply return to your daily grinds you may find that some unhappy feelings of resentment or negativity follow you home and taint the entire experience. Checking in on your relationship should not promote negative feelings, but it can be difficult not to feel this way when the entire experience seemed to be just that.
For these reasons it is important to set aside some time after you have accomplished your goals to relax and enjoy each others company. Take the time to reconnect and allow for some real detail in the conversation, which you may normally skip due to time constraints. Enjoy taking the time to do some of those things which you love to do, but seldom have time for with each other.
Many couples find that after working on their relationship problems and then continuing on with their getaway in order to spend some quality time together, that they feel like newlyweds. Reconnecting with each other through both productive and playful activities can help you to feel closer to your partner than you may have in years and this feeling often lasts well after the actual event.
Just as in most of other aspects of life, leaving anything unattended for too long may allow it to become dusty, stale or even ruined. Take the time to do a little spring cleaning in your relationship and enjoy a happier rest of the year together.
Alison Sardelli
