Five Tips for Cultivating Intimacy in Your Relationship
At the heart of any relationship whether partner to partner, husband and wife, parent and child, or just friend to friend is the friendship factor, the essential ingredient of warmth and caring. However the secret of how to love and be loved rests in your ability to produce and cultivate intimacy. When properly developed, it leads to a warm and healthy relationship, makes you a more lovable person, allows for better communication, and squelches tension in your relationship. Here are a few tips and guidelines that will help you cultivate intimacy in your relationships and change the way you love.
1. Use your Body to Demonstrate Warmth – Learn the Art of Touching
Our bodies are the best tools for achieving genuine intimacy. You’ve heard over and over again about the importance of body language but seldom is it discussed in the context of intimacy. If you observe people who have deep relationships you’ll find that they have tuned their sense of touch and are skilled at when, how, and how often to use it when they are with people. They understand that frequent body contact is essential for keeping communication at a warm level. They understand that there is a universal longing to be touched in both man and animals. It is said that with babies, before they understand the love of a mother’s kiss, they understand the love of a mother’s touch. So remember in your interactions that in addition to your verbal communication built intimacy with your non-verbal communication. Touch often and regularly.
2. Learn the Art of Affirmation – Be Liberal with Compliments and Praise
Learn to always be ready to say something good about the other person. Train your mind to find the positive things in other people and once you find something good, immediately highlight it with a heart-felt compliment. If you have a sliver of criticism make sure you sandwich it between two healthy slices of praise. Be particularly mindful of areas to boost their self image. This will draw the person closer to you and increase their desire to be in your presence. Remember the simple act of affirmation, undeserved and unexpected attention, is a big step towards lasting intimacy.
3. Never Stop Talking and Never Stop Listening – Learn the Art of Doing Two Things at Once
This is pretty self explanatory. Learn to art of conversation which includes both talking and listening. Many of us are highly skilled in one or the other but few are skilled at both. Learn to have balance in your conversations and realize that sensitivity is important to gain intimacy in your relationship. You’ve got to know when it’s time to listen and how to let the other person know “You are free to talk. I’m ready and willing to listen.” Learn to balance their eagerness to talk with your eagerness to listen. Finally learn to add touch and affirmation to your conversations to produce the bond of intimacy that will last throughout your relationship.
