Overcoming the Fear of Rejection
Fear of rejection is a common phobia. It strikes millions of people in all areas of life: especially in dating relationships. Just think of what could be accomplished if we didn’t fear rejection. You can only imagine what great and lasting relationships could have been formed if only we hadn’t succumb to the fear of rejection.
The following are some basic thoughts and ideas that will help you to overcome your fear of rejection:
* Pain only lasts for a moment and then it’s gone. Keeping this in mind will help you overcome your fear. One day, you will be able to look back at the time and laugh about it. Rejection isn’t as bad as we make it.
* It becomes easier over time. Asking people out becomes easier over time. The more you do it, the more natural it becomes and the less fear you’ll have. Like everything else in life it just takes practice. Asking people out, starting conversations, and introducing yourself becomes easy with enough repetition.
* It is exhilarating. Asking someone out when you are nervous or afraid pushes your limits. It requires you to step beyond your comfort zone. No matter the results, you can feel good about yourself for not backing down. Facing the fear of rejection squarely without giving in means never having to say “what if…”
* Remember “Courage is not the absence of fear but the ability to take action in the face of fear.” Taking courage is simple taking action.
We’re all afraid of rejection. Prepare yourself for it – and plunge ahead anyway. You’ll like yourself better for mustering courage – and so will everyone else. Don’t take it personally, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and have another go at it.
More than anything else fear when dating will get you off to a bad start. Your date can sense that you are scared a mile away. It shows, it comes across and it is hard to disguise. Fear makes the person on the receiving end feel unattractive and unsteady. Fear of rejection is debilitating. It prevents you from functioning properly. It affects your movements and speech and most certainly prevents you from displaying the glorious aspects of your relaxed character. You are uptight so you can’t talk fluently, your words come out all wrong, you don’t come across properly.
“I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool not afraid of rejection.” – Billy Joel.
How fear of rejection affects you –
* How many times have you simply given up looking for a certain type of work because you got so discouraged by the lack of response?
* How many times have you seen a great guy, that you wished you had the guts to talk to, but just couldn’t because you were afraid of being snubbed?
* How often do you avoid striking up conversation with people – guys or girls – out of concern that they might not like you?
The way to overcome fear of rejection is: Don’t try to overcome it. Instead, condition yourself to take action in spite of the fear. If you’re afraid to say hi to a guy, just say hi to him anyway. If you’re worried that your idea might not fly with management, and you might look like an idiot, just say what you need to say. Stand up for your own truth.
Of course, “embracing rejection” doesn’t mean “giving up easily”. It just means fully accepting and acting congruently with the idea that you decide your worth. It means getting out of your own way, and giving yourself permission to live life on your own terms, instead of being controlled by other people’s responses.
Sometimes “no” just means you haven’t yet given the other person enough reasons to say “yes”. But other time, no really means so. You have to rely on your intuition to sort out which is which.
So take Billy Joel’s advice and be “more of a fool”. Embracing rejection will improve your quality of life.
