Many women are clueless when it come to understanding a man especially when he is quiet and has few words to say. But when a man does open his mouth to talk it is imperative for the woman to know and understand what he is saying. If she doesn’t, chances are he will think twice before opening his mouth again and will turn into the dreaded “silent man” that most women are desperately trying to avoid. Here are a few relationship tips for women when it comes to understanding what a man means when he says things. It’s not all inclusive but gives some incite into the common responses men give and what they really mean.
1) He Says: “I don’t want to talk about it.”
This phrase could usually mean one of two things, depending on the situation.
Situation A: If you are attempting to convince him that your point of view is right and his is wrong, then his response means: I’m not going to agree with you right now, and if we don’t stop talking then we’re going to get into a
huge fight.”
Suggestion: Leave him alone for now. Unless your relationship depends on resolving this issue immediately, then bring it up later (next day).
If he’s upset, not at you or with you, but simply because he is having a bad day (i.e., a bad day a work, his car broke down, etc..), then the above response means: “It feels embarrassing that this is bothering me so much. I’m feeling out of control.”
Suggestion: Say this to him in a soft voice, “Are you sure?” and then wait. If he says that he does not want to discuss it, then wait a few moments and once again say, – “Are you sure?” Most of the time when you ask it a second time he’ll start opening up to you and (even better) he bond with you because you were soft and persistent.
2) He Says: “We should hang out sometime.”
He Means: “I’m not sure if I think you’re special enough to take a risk on inviting you out on a date. Let’s hang out as friends and see if I feel you are worthy of my time and attention.”
Suggestion: Don’t agree to this. Just smile at him without responding. That should be all the encouragement a man needs. Guys that are easily bored or impulsive want lots of assurances before they proceed to date a woman. They types of men, although often attractive to women, usually make terrible partners.
3) He Says: “That’s not what I meant.”
He Means: “You’re not listening to me.”
Suggestion: Listening is not the same as agreeing. If he doesn’t feel that you’re listening to him, then you have no chance in getting him to understand your point of view. Even though you may well have understood him, he does not necessarily know that. Often in a discussion or disagreement, one person who in fact may clearly understand the other, makes a quick counterpoint. That is fine if you are in a debate, but terrible for romance.
Suggestion: Slow it down. Make sure that you clearly convey that you’ve understood exactly what he is saying and then proceed (slowly). By doing this you’ll be able to determine if he is attempting to avoid responsibility, lying, or if he truly wants to resolve the issue.
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